I hate to admit but it is true,
sometimes,
overwhelmed by intense emotions
I seal myself in my room,
and crouch in the farthest corner -
where no one can see me or hear me
and then I let it out,
I cry like the world has fallen apart
like I have lost my balance
and I am falling -
into a never-ending void
with nothing to hold on to -
I continue to fall,
gaining momentum,
waiting for something
to stop my fall
but it does not happen
I just go on, deeper into the void,
into the darkness
and I continue to cry.
I hear voices
but I cannot distinguish what the voices say
it is all chaos,
some whispers some screams -
I try to block them out,
because they scare me -
everything, everyone scares me.
I lose sight of my room,
there's nothing but darkness.
I close my eyes -
then, there is the deafening silence.
and the uneven beating of my heart,
in tune with my ragged breathing
I concentrate on the heartbeats
my only tether to the real world.
the sign that I am still alive.
I take deep breaths,
try to calm myself down
heartbeats even out
and breathing slows down.
I realise, it's only me -
who can bring myself peace.
only me,
who can give myself the strength -
to overcome the emotions
and face the world again.
it's only me,
who can fight the darkness.
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